Mental Illness and Stigmas...a Visit to the PT

Monday I took my 14 year old daughter to Physical Therapy. The therapist next to us brought up a "crazy" patient of hers who she said heard a voice telling him he needed to come to see her. Supposedly he was their to meet someone. She went on to poke fun of the ideas he was sharing about his healing abilities and all she could see and say was that he was "nuts and crazy." It seemed to me her patient was having a psychotic episode, something I'm all too familiar with. I mentioned this to her and said it wasn't something he had chosen. This young girl didn't get it and kept making fun. It made me wonder how far I was willing to out myself. After I couldn't refrain from responding, I told her she was pushing some of my buttons and ought to change the subject. It was a real disappointment to see someone in the healing field have such a negative perspective of someone who was clearly having difficulties. I keep thinking we're making progress, but then think back to my first episode 5 1/2 years ago, and how everyone but my a select few turned their back on me. Honestly, the only person who stood by me day in and day out has been my husband. How unfortunate for all of us that support can be so limited. That's why it's important to turn to each other. 


Your Friend,


Risa Nicholas, MC

Sleep and Lack of Motivation

I'm so tired today. Sleep is a day to day factor in my life--having it or wanting it. It impacts everything. No sleep is the equivalent of a lost day. There are days like today that I have to push myself to get one or two things done, just so I don't feel like the day was a total waste. So, I'm going to reread my homework assignment and edit it, I'm going to start my e-book, and I'm thinking about going to a precor BNI group. A nap is definitely in order. When stumbling blocks get in your way, find a way around or through them. Find someone who will give you that little nudge. It doesn't have to be a big win, just a small step in a forward moving direction. It helps keep you feeling normal.

Isolation

It's hard to explain how your life changes once you've had a Manic or Depressive episode ending in hospitalization and psych medication. Most people lose whatever support they have. Some are fortunate to have people who will stand by them, in spite of the challenges this presents. The tendency for those living with this disorder is to isolate due to trust and abandonment issues. It's critical to push past that and find a community, whether it's yours or it revolves around a hobby. It's so important to get out and overcome your fear of people and them finding out what you live with day in and day out. Make it a little step, but a step none the less. It can make all the difference knowing you're not alone.

Life Beyond Psych Meds

Maybe one day they're be a cure for Bipolar Disorder. Even alternatives beyond just psych meds would be a huge step forward. Being able to control episodes and know that you can keep yourself out of the hospital by doing the right thing. As I work on my PhD, this is what drives me. I want to find that combination of specialists that make Bipolar Disorder & Depression something that can be controlled and that your quality of life what it once was. If you know of something that's worked for you, a friend, or family member, please share it with the group. Thanks! 

Medication Compliance

A friend recently told me she was going off her meds and plans to combat this life-changing disorder with holistic healing. Bipolar Disorder is not something to be solved with herbs and alternative medicine. It is a ticket into Mania and/or Depression. Maybe one day there will be a solution that incorporates both Psych Meds and Herbal solutions, but the time hasn't come yet. I am very interested in finding the mix of things that keep you on the lowest dose of medication while offering other options like holistic supplements and yoga. In the meantime, be med compliant. The alternative is dangerous and puts you and your family at risk.

Sleep

Ahh, sleep. For some, like my dog, he easily sleeps through the night and part of the day. For me, sleep is illusive, like losing weight and keeping it off. I am on medication enough to theoretically put down a horse, but for some reason my body chemistry doesn't seem to be impacted by it. Lack of sleep is one of the triggers to Mania, something I've enjoyed, yet work hard to avoid. Some solutions for this challenge are finding exercises that are calming, like yoga & meditation, or even golf. Golf doesn't actually work for me as I curse like a sailor when I whiff or find myself chasing that darn ball all over the fairway. That said, it doesn't have to be exercise. Artistic activities can also be calming. Look for the things that relax you and take the noise out of your head. Everyone has something, it's just not the same thing for everyone, much like this disorder. Be careful and make sure you're getting some good sleep. Find that thing that makes you peaceful and practice it before bedtime.

The Impact of Mental Illness on Career & Income

I woke up this morning with so many things I wanted to share. Two things that really are weighing on me are jobs/money and family. There are so many things that are taken away from you when you get sick. I've found that men and women are both defined in some ways by their careers. So not only do you often lose your job the first episode, which means you lose your income and independence. Most people can't do the same kind of work, which means less money and less self esteem. Often we can't hold a job for any period of time, which does wonders for your resume. It's the stress and anxiety that typically lead to leaving the job. So, what do? You reinvent yourself. You find something that gives you meaning/purpose, and doesn't put you in a position that triggers the loss of your job. Sometimes starting your own business can fill that need for you. It offers the flexibility that you can't find working for an employer. So, what are you passionate about? What hobbies do you have? It doesn't need to be a corporation. It can be a small home-based business. It can even be a Network Marketing company which doesn't require a lot of start up money. Don't limit your thinking...brainstorm. Think big. We've been given this "interesting" opportunity to reinvent ourselves. Think positive.

Kay Redfield Jamison

I'm not sure why but I can't make the You tube link show up. If you search for her you'll find at least 20 clips worth watching. Enjoy!

Reading Recommendations

For those of you who are afraid of the stigma of Bipolar there have been some great books come out that will question your ideas of keeping this disorder a secret and they are just worth the read.

1) An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness by Kay Redfield Jamison

2) Nothing Was the Same by Kay Redfield Jamison

3) Touched with Fire: Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament by Kay Redfield Jamison

As you can see I'm a fan of Miss Jamison's and not only because she suffered from Mania and Depression, but because she also holds a position co-running the program at John Hopkins University for Mental Illness. She has disclosed her disorder and used it as a platform to change people's lives.

See her on YouTube about taking Medication:

Isolation

My Meet-up, Beyond Coping With Bipolar Disorder held its first meeting on Friday the 19th. I was nervous about starting this group with a variety of people at different stages of mental health. I was pleasantly surprised at how the meeting exceeded my expectations. There were a few glitches, but for the most part, people seemed genuinely happy to have a place to connect. Listening to everyone introduce themselves reminded me that one huge impact of this disorder is isolation. Typically people lose their friends, family members, and sometimes even their children when they get sick. Most people don't understand what BiPolar Disorder or Depression is, and the kinds of things it can make us do. It's much easier to push away because we're afraid of what we don't understand. When someone you love says something like, "get out of my way or I'll hurt you," it really makes you question whether you have the stamina to stay together. I look forward to the day when people understand that this disease is like any other medical disease that we have no control over.

In The Beginning

Who would have thought that I would end up being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. I have a Bachelor's in Psychology, a Master's in Counseling, am a PhD candidate, and a graduate from Coach U.

It hit me six years ago with the force of a mack truck. One day I was working at a senior level in academia, and the next I was lost. It started with a deep depression, a fear of leaving home, answering email's, etc. I couldn't do anything but cry. I finally found a Psychiatrist who put me on a number of meds to stabilize me and in a week I was a new person. What none of us recognized was that I was moving quickly to psychosis and mania. They almost lost during this episode. I was too smart for my own good and talked my way out of hospitalization multiple times. When I was finally hospitalized I was sedate for the first week and then my husband had to testify against me to keep me in for the second week.

You see, I was 100% sure that I was supposed to be the next Pope. Let's see, I'm Jewish, a woman, and have almost no connection to Catholicism, but due to the voices I heard, I was sure that was my next job. Imagine my dismay when they blew smoke for someone else. I had been trying to get out of the hospital so I could get to Rome and accept my papacy. It's crazy what this disorder does to you.

After all that I basically was a vegetable for the next seven months being severely drugged to keep me stable. I did pull out of it and spent the next four years doing okay...not great, but okay. I had one more hospitalization and I think I finally got the right cocktail of meds. For someone who used to not believe in medication, you could say I'm a huge fan. I've seen what it does to you when you're not on it.

Even with all of this, I still have to believe that most everyone can find life beyond Bipolar Disorder. I'm finally living it and hope to share it with you.